VS Punk Patrol

Corey and Oats
VS The Punk Patrol
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Corey and Oats dealt with many villains in the online universe including villains based on stereotypes of gender and sometimes villains based on content that was most certainly not safe for work. The duo were in their home at Nile Road playing video games when an advertisement for a strange cyberpunk 80s style game that clearly had more adult content featuring a villainess who was a punk stereotype brainwashing people with piercings.

‘Another one of these fetishistic game made for mind control fanatics? And oh boy this one looks like a stinker.’ ‘I mean come on ANOTHER punk stereotype? We already dealt with one of those, that annoying Skav character.’ ‘Oh yeah she was a totally annoying punk wannabe and a bad British stereotype.’ ‘Ain’t I fooking mint, i’ll ave you know i’m fooking mint, i’ll poke your eye out if you don’t agree with me. Oh shut up and learn how to speak proper English, you insulting stereotype.’

Piff used a combination on the keyboard which opened up a portal in the middle of the screen and they all jump through it, which took them inside the computer and into the online world, where they arrived in the world of a game known as ‘Control Station 87’ , the domain of said game made to look like if Blade Runner and Return to Oz mated and had a baby that grew up to be the 1993 Super Mario Brothers movie.

There were brainwashed hero characters dressed like stereotypical punks, and Mel took on the form of her gothic alter-ego Living Dead Mel, who used her dark magic to possess the punks into hurting themselves and killing themselves with their own piercings, before grabbing their leader and draining his soul, turning him into an undead creature.

She then decided to take on a side quest by going into the Furaffinitia dimension and dealing with a game called ‘Beast-Men of Furaffinitia’ which was basically taking the Beast’s curse from Beauty and The Beast and making it one that could be passed on. ‘Look I know some guys in this realm are still simping for the beast but this too much, and some of these do not even make sense, I mean animal characters? They’re already animals, wouldn’t Beast Abu just be like a gorilla? Also Tritan’s already half non-human, wouldn’t he be some kind of sea-monster?’ ‘Grr, you’re just mad because these Beast-Men are hot and you don’t have a boyfriend who can even measure up to them.’ ‘Oh I have a boyfriend, and he is way better than these ruined versions of Disney men. Speaking of which, why men apart from yaoi related reasons?’

Mel used some magic to reverse the effects of the Beast curse, turning all the Disney men who weren’t from Beauty and the Beast back to normal including Stitch. ‘I am sorry but you really misunderstood what the movie was about, didn’t you? Yeah I know you like the Beast, but this is too much, they’re just all the same species.’

‘Also oh sure, you guys hated Gaston before but now he’s a Beast you actually like him?’ Piff added, raising an eyebrow. Mel said an incantation which caused the spirit that had possessed the real Beast into acting the way he did in the game to leave his body, making him back to his gentle and kind self.

After finishing that side-quest she had lunch with the gang before continuing the battle against the punks, the group of heroes made their way to the punk that started it all, a komodo dragon-girl named Aycid who was dressed like a ‘sexy’ version of Vyvian from the Young Ones. ‘I appreciate your Young Ones cosplay but what I don’t appreciate is people like you and Skav going around transforming others into punks like that one episode of Power Rangers with Terror Toad in it.’

She grabbed Aycid by her tail and slammed her around…’Punk is such a stupid look anyway and so several centuries ago, goth is where it is at now.’ She cast a spell that made a snake tattoo on her arm come to life, slithering up Aycid’s body and biting her in the neck, injecting her with venom.

Aycid’s health drained more and more until she slowly began to lose control of her powers before Corey took control of her piercings and corrupting them slowly causing them to become infected and give her an infection that caused her to mutate into a Cronenbergian monster before exploding into pieces and reforming into her normal unpunked human form.

Piff destroyed a Ravetopia radio tower that had been used and had brainwashed a bunch of innocent female characters into being cringy evil fangirls who tried to put Piff into their weird slash-fics with their self insert OCs. ‘Sorry, but even if I was single, I would not date a bunch of sad pathetic tarts like you lot!’ He used his spikes to shoot several of them before shoving them into a giant oven and roasting them alive.

He then pulled their charred bodies and put them in a box and used a dimension transfer spell to transfer them to a sub-section of the prison diimension dubbed ‘Things From The 2000s That Should Have Stayed There’ and stayed there is what they did. ‘Right, Aycid, for brainwashing everyone into being punks, you are grounded until people stop liking this kind of transformation content and not only that, you are to do a report and essay about how real punks are and will eat nothing but lumpy potatoes for every meal.’

‘Waaaaa,.’ ‘You are lucky we will not TF you into a motorcar.’ The vortex to the prison dimension materialized and Aycid fell right through it, falling further and further down until she was transported into a fresh new cell where she was grounded for a really long time.

As she was grounded she had to eat nothing but lumpy potatoes for every meal and had to work on a report and essay on how actual punks are and watch documentaries about the punk rock movement, a law was made to forbid any and all punk stereotype transformations from being made again and thus who would be caught trying to bring them back would be banished to the dark web.

Any and all traces of Ravetopia was banished to the collection of ‘Things From The 2000s That Should Have Stayed There’ and despite talks of remakes, nothing new ever came of it and it was left to rot with other failed 2000s trends. Beast-Men of Furaffinitia was fixed to be a less male centric game by putting in female characters and all the homoerotic elements were censored and replaced (the more adult scenes that would have given this story more uhhhh…NSFW material were replaced with more scenes that are suitable for showing on all website worlds).

They all had afternoon tea before returning to the entrance, the entrance to the portal opened up and they all jumped through it - before they jumped through another one and arrived back at their home in Nile Road. When they arrived back home they all played games and relaxed before getting ready for dinner.

When dinner was ready they all had some delicious food and Mel emailed Jill about their adventure afterwards, they played games as Piff and Tangie went fishing and caught lots and lots of fish, they all had a karaoke session afterwards and after their karaoke session was finished they got ready for bed.

Corey put on his bat pajamas as Oats put on his pink nightgown as they brushed their teeth and thanked Mel for their adventure and hugged her, after brushing their teeth they all picked out friends and jumped on the bed, snuggling up as they did so - they all said goodnight as Anglo turned off the lights.

Once the lights were off they all drifted off to sleep and had sweet dreams as they did so, and thus another adventure of theirs had come to an end but more are coming up so stay tuned.