Dreaming about my Cousin

Written by , on 2018-08-30, genre incest

*True Story 100%*

I have a cousin that I am attracted to. I have always had a thing for her. My mother is from a large family so I have lots of cousins actually. There are so many of us I doubt I could even name them all.

The closest in age to myself however happens to be a few months younger than me, her name is Penny. Most of our other cousins are at least a year or two older or younger thus, we found ourselves together playing at family gatherings, more often than not just us two. I recall playing "House" and even playing with her Barbies. Thankfully she had a couple of "Ken Dolls"!

Once we even destroyed one of those "Stretch Armstrong" toys. To this day she claims it was my idea to see what was inside, I think it was more of a tug of war gone wrong scenario.

Penny is the first girl I ever saw naked. We were very young at the time and it apparently is a memory I will always carry. Perhaps this is why I still occasionally dream of her. Once when we were teens we sort of dry humped on the couch but we have never really done anything sexual together.

In my dream, as in real life, she is married. She and her husband have 3 daughters as do I with my now ex-wife. Tim is a great guy and I would never want to do anything to hurt him or their relationship. This is how I know these dreams are not real, they are still the most realistic dreams I have ever had. I am in my mid-50's and this is as close as I get to having nocturnal emissions these days.

The situation is usually one where Penny is visiting town, just passing through for a few days. She will find a way for us to meet up and we make passionate, almost desperate love in some hotel where we meet. I travel in my real life business, so sometimes in my dreams it is me who passes through her town when she sneaks away to meet me. It is awkward to be around her in the dreams without tipping our hand but we both agree that we do not want to destroy our families, for the girls' sake. In many of my dreams I am still married to the ex.

In this fantasy we are both so very much in love with each other yet we still care for our spouses and don't want to hurt them in spite of being happier together, or more complete. We accept that this cannot be and are resigned to have our moments when we can.

I always wake from these dreams very hard and very sad. It is a strange dichotomy of emotions, unlike anything I have ever experienced in wakefulness.
These dreams have even affected my relationship with my cousin in reality. At tines when I look at her, I can't help but see her face and body as I have in these dreams.

We have always teased each other, we occasionally will hug but that is the extent of our actual affection. Yet in these dreams...

I recall similar dreams in my teens, she has always haunted me. Years ago I fantasized about us moving away and dating in a far away city where no one would know we were cousins.

I think I will always love her, certainly more than she could ever guess.

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